Fun With Medicine

I hate having blood drawn, I'm about 300 miles past needle phobic if it involves a vein. I totally fall apart, shaking, crying, fainting... it's quite a show really. The two other people who wandered into the lab this morning certainly got THEIR money's worth. I've got some stuff going on, and while I can usually wheedle my way out of having bloodwork done, it really was necessary this time. So I girded my loins. I did NOT want to get there at a busy time, so I waited until 9:30 to leave the house, and was happy to see that there was nobody else there. The lady vampire had me fill out the forms, and found a safe place to put my Diet Coke (needed it for afterwards... the caffeine and sugar help). I could see her thinking WHY ME as she watched my entire body shake, but she was very gracious about the whole thing and let me get into the reclining chair where she could hoist my hind paws up over my head. I immediately burst into tears. You know, like you do. At this point another woman wandered into the lab and, looking at my shaking, sobbing, pathetic-ness, thought briefly about turning tail and leaving. Now I have a problem. If I look to my right I can see the vampiress taking blood, if I look to my left I can see the other woman having HER blood taken. Shit. While I was puzzling this out, the vampiress struck...... and..... I barely felt it. She was GOOD! Okay, I can do this I thought. I have no idea why I have such a hard time with such a simple procedure. I hoot every time I hear an ad on tv for some kind of medication that "requires simple blood tests". Simple my left foot! Not simple for everyone bucko. So, it's over for this time. I fully intend to wear my band-aid all day so people will know the trauma I have suffered and feel appropriate sorrow for me. Hand me a tissue would you?